Words matter

Life lessons, Parenting

Words have power. Words can build us up or tear us down. Words move us and inspire us. Words can hurt us but also heal us. Words educate us. And mislead us. With words, we can tell someone what they mean to us. I love words. Words matter.

“Articulate” is one of my favorite words. I appreciate the strong consonant sounds. I also use it a lot in conversation with my nine year old, as in, asking him to do it.

I love that my seven year old still says “lemolade”. I hope she never figures it out.

Words have an emotional connection.

Do you remember the first time someone said “I love you”? Just words, but oh, so much more.

I do not think there are bad words. Some parents may disagree, but please listen to my words on this. I think there are age appropriate words. I think there are words that more intelligently make a point. I think there are words that build us up and those are the important ones. I teach my children to choose their words carefully. To think of the point they want to make and take advantage of our vast vocabulary to best make it. I explain what words are and why they are used. Just recently we had a drive-to-school conversation about how a DAM creates a water reservoir but DAMN is a word that condemns or denounces something or someone. All because of Bruno Mars. I hear the afore mentioned seven year old singing along to Uptown Funk (because who doesn’t?) and thought it best she and her brother understand why singing “I’m too hot, hot damn” at school probably wasn’t the best choice for the day. By explaining why, instead of just saying don’t do it, I was respecting the word and them. Neither have said it since. But one day they might. One day “damn” might be the best word to use in a situation. I want them to know all the words so that they can choose wisely. I trust them. Trust is another great word.

My point is this, use words to teach your children how to use words. Take advantage of Bruno Mars moments. Because words matter.

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IF:Gathering

God is Good, Life lessons, Ministry

I don’t remember how I first heard about IF:Gathering. It was early 2014 and it may have been a friend. It was likely social media. But however it was, I found myself sitting, alone, in front of my computer watching the live stream. Anybody with me? The teaching was on point, the worship moving and the women were simply stunning. Their beauty radiated from within. From God. And still, when buzz started around the 2015 registration, I didn’t make plans to attend. I maybe had a passing “I’ll catch some of that online again if I have time” but it wasn’t real. And then I got an email from Deb.

“Registration for IF is about to open, you wanna go?”

And that’s all it took. Interest and an invitation from a friend and there we were: IF.

I’m so, so very grateful.

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Side note: girls, if you think of a friend, tell them. If you want to do something with a friend, ask them. It means the world.

What is IF? I keep getting that question. It’s really a question itself. IF we believe…? So there’s no one answer. I’m still processing all I experienced but the thoughts that come to mind are:

A gathering place
Honest teaching
A conversation
Worship
Women
Empowerment
Belief
Revival
Ethics
Unity
Inspirational
Too big
Too much
Not enough
A taste of God

Many of my take-aways can be found on Twitter. What can I say? I like to live tweet events. So check it out, but here are some of my favorites:

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So what now? What do we do with this? It’ll be different for each of us, but my prevailing thought is TAKE THIS TO MY PEOPLE. I’m on staff at a church and I want every. single. woman. at Gateway to experience God in this way. So I don’t think I’ll be at IF:Gathering next year. Instead, find me hosting an IF:Local for 2000 of my favorite church ladies.

In the meantime, let’s dig into God’s word. Let’s breathe it in. Live in it. IF was a weekend. A great weekend. But if it’s just that then we dishonor the women who taught us and the God that gave them the words. Let’s take this back to our homes and neighborhoods and churches and grocery stores and schools. Let’s be women of action.

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith…
Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…
{Hebrews 10:22-24}

Hello again

God is Good, Life lessons, Ministry

This weekend I attended the IF: Gathering. It’s a beautiful movement that I will talk more about in the coming days, but first, I feel like I should tell everyone where I’ve been the past eight months. I honestly hadn’t realized it had been that long since my last post! For the love, what have I been doing? Well, IF helped me see that it’s time to put keystroke to WordPress once again. I have a voice and there are things I’d like to say. So let’s take it back to June of 2014, when I told you about my experience in Haiti.

One of the things I learned from my Haitian brothers and sisters was how to live completely in the moment and appreciate every. little. thing. I came back with a desire to be fully present in this life God gifted me and I didn’t know how to do that and also observe the moment at the same time. Observation is kind of important to writing and apparently I’m a very bad multi-tasker. So to answer the question what have I been doing? Well, that.

I’ve been living.

  • I started a women’s group where nine strangers are now starting to do life together.
  • I substituted at my kids’ school – and that will take a whole other blog, and maybe counseling , to fully digest.
  • I stepped into a volunteer role at my church where I’m able to use my ability to communicate and connect with others and share the values of our church – and also explain why we do things the way we do. Sometimes it’s takes a lot of explaining, in the best way.
  • I’ve stood in front of thousands and shared my story of meeting our sponsor child so in turn others picked up that call and lives are being changed.
  • I began serving at the food pantry.
  • I date my husband.
  • I have the neighbors over.
  • I’m planning a family trip to Haiti because everyone should find a place not like their own and go there.
  • I’ve walked with friends in the midst of devastation and despair and I’ve seen them come out on the other side.
  • I bought a foosball table.

I’VE LIVED. And now I want to tell you about it. Not because what I’m doing, have done or will do is anything. IT’S NOT. I am nothing. BUT GOD IS. And let’s glorify him together. Let’s live in his presence and then talk about it. Let’s share the good and the ridiculous and the sad and the beautiful and the real. It’s time. It’s time I learn how to multi-task. Thank you IF for shaking me awake. For reminding me there are seasons for everything and my Spring is here. I don’t know where God will lead me, or you, but I’m excited to find out.

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For anyone stopping by here today hoping to check out my professional credentials, you’re probably confused. #sorrynotsorry

This blog started out as a place for me to file my thoughts on culture, employee engagement, leadership and general human resource practices. And those things are still  here. But it’s so much more now and I hope you’ll stick around.

Haiti happy

Haiti, Life lessons

Y’all, I went to Haiti and back. To all of you who supported me, prayed for me, followed along with me and encouraged me, I thank you. This was a big time moment for me and I couldn’t – and shouldn’t – have done it without you. God created us to live in community and I needed my tribe! 

And now my tribe is just a little bigger. I’ve made friends and shared experiences and seen God move. 

I’m what we call “Haiti happy.”

These people, these people who see death and devastation and desperation every day, are happy. It’s a joy that comes from the Lord, and woah, did I learn from them.

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From Kensley who lost his daughter less than a year ago but still leads youth ministry and shows the love of Christ to children all through Simonette. Kids flock to him because of his loving kindness and silly goodness. It’s beautiful.

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From Analiese who is elderly and paralyzed with no remaining family and relies on the service of her village for every need, asked us to pray for her to have a stronger relationship with God.

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From Joesph who began as a translator for mobile medical units who is now in nursing school, himself. He opened his still earthquake-damaged home to us and it turned into a party!

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His brother, Jacques, is sponsored in school by a friend traveling with me and their connection is precious.

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From Mamay, my family’s sponsored child, who’s sweet shyness won my heart ten times over, who I had to teach how to hug. Jesus met me in that moment.

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From these women, who left their families and jobs and lives to serve in a foreign land. They amaze me.

And Wilkens and Jhonny and Mike and Courtney and Franell and Jack and Chedly and Leonida and Kayla and so many more who have stories and joy and loss and love they shared with me this week. 

My prayer is that as I get back into the rhythm of my life, that I retain this understanding the people of Haiti tend to have – that regardless of circumstance, all things are good and the glory be to God. Which was surprising since Haiti is the “voodoo capital of the world.” But God is doing a great work across the nation and most all I interacted with depended on the creator in ways we in North America don’t.

I realized that when I’m able to strip away the distractions of life, it’s so easy to see the tangible work of God. It’s powerful stuff. Not that the way I live is wrong – believe me, there’s NOTHING wrong with air conditioning and a warm shower after a week without either! It’s just that those things and all of the other things we can get caught up in – work and school and baseball tournaments and sick kids and troubled marriages and broken relationships and grocery shopping and promotions and birthday parties and the list goes on – can’t be where I place my identity. My identity is in Christ and my hope is in Him alone. Knowing and seeing are two different things and I saw it in the villagers in Simonette.

Haiti doesn’t need me, I need Haiti. I need to see how big God is. How loving God is. How mighty God is. Even in the midst of poverty and desperation, God is with us and we are commissioned to be good stewards of our resources, whatever they may be.  

Because poverty is not only about money. In fact, poverty is more often about shame, despair and inferiority. We are all impoverished in some way. And we can help heal the hurting wherever we are. So let’s be Haitian where we live. Let’s invite our neighbors to dinner, serve the refugees in our city, volunteer at our churches, offer to babysit for free, sponsor a child’s school and nutrition. Be like Jesus. Love, mourn, celebrate, and live in community. 

“Peace be with you, as the father sent me, I am sending you.” John 20:21

So go!

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Love is a choice

Life lessons, Ministry

We have Aqua Notes in our shower. Maybe a little TMI but stick with me. It was a fun little Christmas gift for my husband since he’s a creative  director and often has ideas in inconvenient places. Pat me on the back for being so thoughtful. And it’s a gift which he has used for that purpose exactly zero times. Because our kids have filled it up with I Love You notes.  Which is adorable. But this isn’t about that, so stick with me.

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Sure, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know my kids are moved to express their love for me, their father and sibling in writing. But it’s never brought me to tears. Until this morning.

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Let me translate: “I love you. If I had to pick a family I would say yes to you.”

What moves me is his choice. He doesn’t feel like love, he is choosing love.

Sure, love may start with a feeling and express itself as an emotion, but it needs to move to intentional action if it’s going to last. Because if I were to only be loved by those that feel like loving me, I’d be alone.  I mess up. I mean really. Y’all, I have to apologize after homework nearly every night – just one example among many. And he still chooses to love me! My husband still loves me even when I hurt him. Jesus still loves me even when I sin against him. Think about that. That ultimate choice of love. Beaten, bloody, humiliated and dying on the cross, I highly doubt Jesus felt love for me. But he chose to love me anyway. And in doing so gave the greatest gift of love of all time. My salvation.

And now my calling is to love others. To choose others, even when I don’t feel like it. To show it with action and to express it with words. Like on an Aqua Note. From the heart of a child. Love is a choice. Who are you choosing to love?